Human Change: Motivational Questions for trust-building conversations
The “5 Stages” model is based on motivational interviewing and coaching frameworks that balance empathy and advanced listening skills to support positive change in others.
How to use these questions:
Step 1: Be attentive and curious, which stage might this person be at around the change you are asking of them?
Then, ask open questions aligned with their stage.
Step 2: Reflect their answers back throughout the conversation — show them you’re really taking in what they say and respect their autonomy and value their priorities.
Stage 1: Totally disagree with you that I should change _______.
Stage 2: Maybe I agree with you? I’m not sure.
Stage 3: I agree I should change_________, but how would I/we make this work?
Stage 4: Successful agreement and collaboration on how this change will happen.
Stage 5: Maintenance stage — I’ve been making the behavioral changes for awhile, and now must work on maintaining momentum and motivation through this process (which requires continuing a connection with my purpose for this change).
Here’s a handout that provides coaching questions to support people at the first through fourth stage (the ones most tough conversations are often at) in a format that can be used by managers and coaches alike.